first trimester recap

I’m well into my second trimester now and wanted to share all of the ins and outs of my first trimester with all of you!  I was so blown away by the response from our pregnancy announcement. In a weird way it feels like I have grown up with a lot of you who have followed me since I first began as Giuliana’s assistant at E! when I was just 22. You saw me get engaged, married and now… BABY time!  I’m so grateful for all of the excitement, love and support from everyone and can’t wait to share snippets of this time with you.  I’ll be covering the majority of the questions people have asked me so far below, but if there’s anything I miss that you want to hear about, let me know in the comments!

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WHEN ARE YOU DUE?

September 19th… Bryce’s birthday is September 23rd so he is hoping we are a little late so he can share his birthday.  I gotta be honest... I’m definitely not hoping we are late. Ha!

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE HAVING YET?

We do! This has been such a hard secret to keep! Stay tuned for our gender reveal soon! 

DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS?

Don’t hate me, but I had ZERO morning sickness, nausea, vomiting, etc.  I’ve heard some people say that they actually lost weight during their first trimester because they were so sick, but not the case for me.  My mom didn’t have any of those symptoms with her pregnancies either. I’m not sure if it’s 100% genetic, but I thanked her anyway for passing that on to me!

HOW MUCH WEIGHT HAVE YOU GAINED?

Well, this is a tricky question because I found out I was pregnant shortly after the holidays. From the day I found out I was pregnant to now, I have gained 6 lbs.  But that’s on top of the 3-5 lbs I gained over the holidays oops! 

DO YOU HAVE ANY CRAVINGS YET?

I don’t have any really strong cravings yet, but I do seem to want chips and dip a lot. But that’s sort of normal for me even pre-preggo.  

HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR DIET?

I’ve definitely changed my diet.  I used to be the type to skip breakfast or not really pay attention to how many processed foods I was eating, but now I am definitely on top of that.  I’m eating way more than I ever have and always start my day with organic oatmeal with chia seeds and blueberries or scrambled egg whites with spinach.  Making a healthy breakfast has for sure been my biggest change. I’ve always been good about drinking lots of water, but I’ve increased that as well.  I love this water bottle by Hydro Flask. It helps me keep track of exactly how much water I am drinking and I know I need to finish at least two a day (and before 8:00PM so I’m not up all night going to the bathroom!).  I also of course take prenatal vitamins as well to make sure the baby is getting all of the nutrients it needs.  I really like the VitaFusion PreNatal Gummies because I hate swallowing pills, but everyone is different and if you have any questions about prenatal vitamins it’s best to talk to your doctor.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

That’s a loaded question…

PHYSICALLY: Physically, I had a relatively easy first trimester.  Like I mentioned, I didn’t have any nausea or vomiting, but I was completely exhausted.  My energy has come back quite a bit recently, but I honestly felt like a walking zombie throughout most of the first trimester.  I was asleep by 8:30PM almost every night, but even though I was so tired I woke up every night like clockwork at 3:00AM wide awake. I could not turn my brain off!  It was so frustrating to be so exhausted, but not be able to sleep.  I’m enjoying better sleep now, but I know the insomnia will surely return later on in my pregnancy.  

MENTALLY & EMOTIONALLY: The mental and emotional changes I have experienced have by far been the most challenging.  Fear and anxiety are normal emotions when you are newly pregnant, but I was having a really hard time with anxiety and sadness before I found out I was pregnant.  Shortly before we found out we are having a baby, our perfect, sweet, one-of-a-kind dog passed away suddenly.  She had a heart murmur since birth and we knew it would become more complicated as she got older, but we certainly were not prepared to lose her so soon.  Yes, she was almost 10 years old, but she wasn’t sick or declining in health at all and all dog parents know that 100 years wouldn’t be long enough.  I cried and cried for hours every day. Working from home felt like torture, the emptiness suffocating.  There’s just no way to describe how awful it was (and still is). She was my first baby who was with me through the most important years of my life thus far. I was in the apex of sadness when I found out I was pregnant and that of course brought on a whole new set of emotions.  Happy, scared and yes, even more anxious.  The first week or two are a blur of excitement, doctor visits, book-buying and app downloading.  I was distracted from my grief, but not for long.  As I mentioned above, insomnia was my worst symptom in my first trimester and with insomnia comes spiraling thoughts about anything and everything all night long.  Being awake and alone for hours on end every night led me to constantly think about our dog and I kept reliving things about when she passed away over and over again. I thought about happy memories too, but that is just as painful.  I realized I was sweeping my grief under the rug because “I shouldn’t be sad right now… this should be the happiest time of my life!” But it just wasn’t.  We were missing a piece of our family.  I realized that it’s ok to be sad about losing our dog and still be happy about our baby. The two aren’t mutually exclusive.  I was so worried that being sad and grieving for our other loss would be bad for the health of the baby growing inside me, I wasn’t allowing myself to continue to grieve and that’s such an unhealthy way to live.  I think we all need to cut ourselves some slack and be compassionate towards ourselves, pregnant or not.  I still cry every day and I probably will for a long time, but that’s okay. It does get better over time, but will never be the same.  Taking long walks, listening to relaxing music and daily devotionals have helped.  I really don’t like yoga – never have – so before you ask, no I haven’t tried that.  We conceived one month to the day after our pup passed away and I don’t think that was a coincidence. I’m a believer that we have guardian angels in all shapes, sizes and breeds!  Sometimes we just need to sit back and trust the timing of our lives. 

Thank you again for all of the sweet messages and support! XO

Posted on April 17, 2018 .